Ask Ally (Q and A Week 14)

Once again, you guys asked me questions that I am probably not qualified to answer, but as always, I am going to go ahead and answer them anyway.

Q: Do you still talk to Cowboy Casanova?

A: Absolutely not. The last time I heard from him was in April or May. He was drunk texting me around 8:00pm because he was coming into town the next day and I knew I had no desire to see him ever again so I blocked his number. I haven’t heard from him since.

I’ve wasted enough years of my life chasing men who only want me when they don’t have me and then once they have me, they no longer want me. I’ve grown out of that phase. Thank goodness.

Q: How do you write your wordy posts so quickly?

A: I don’t. lol

I don’t think the way that I write is normal… if there really even is a “normal” way to write. I actually write most of my posts by hand first which is probably unheard of in this day and age. After I hand write them, I write my blog posts in the “Notes” section of my iPhone which I also don’t think most professional writers do. I write them in my notes section so that I can switch back and forth between my laptop and my iPhone at any given time. I never know when a thought, idea, quote, or feeling is going to pop into a mind and have an impact on me. I don’t always have my laptop handy, but I always have my iphone with me, so writing my posts in my notes allows me to bounce back and forth easily… all compliments of the “cloud.” I usually have between one and two dozen partial posts going at a time that I go back and forth between. Sometimes I feel so strongly about something that I can write an entire post in one sitting, but most times, even if I sit down and write a post in one sitting, it’s something I’ve been thinking about and writing in my head for weeks. Sometimes I simply write down a quote or idea that sparked something inside me that I want to write about and I go back to it later after I’ve thought about it for a while and write a post. I also have a list of bomb ass blog titles that I have no idea what I’m going to write to go with them, but I’ll figure it out someday.

Could my posts be better? Of course. I could switch my major to Journalism so that I have better grammar, manners, and I could certainly curse less, but what fun would that be? I feel like my blog is a guilty pleasure. People reading my blog is just like my unhealthy addiction to binge watch every reality series on Bravo. Do I really care about rich women in a another city getting day drunk and fighting with each other over nothing? Nah. It’s irrelevant in my life. However, it’s fun to watch the train wreck unravel. No one wants to admit they read my blog, but my numbers prove that ya’ll are still reading so I’m going to keep writing. 😉

Q: Do you have any other advice to give us men to know if a girl is into us or not?

A: Look… I’m still single, so I really don’t know if I’m the best person to give advice on this topic. The one thing I can say is that there probably isn’t much of a difference between when a man is interested in a woman and a woman is interested in a man so think about the lengths you are willing to go to if you are interested in a woman.

If a woman is interested in you, she’ll text you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve text her or not. She’ll text you first, and she will repeat text you if necessary if she is into you. Also, I don’t care how busy she is, she’ll make time to see you. She’ll surrender plans, move things around, stay up late and miss out on sleep to see you. If you for one second have to question if she is in to you, I’m gonna be completely honest and let you know that she probably isn’t into you. If a girl is interested in you, she will let you know without any questions or reservations. No matter how attractive she is, busy she is, or desired she is, if you are a guy she wants to get to know, she will make that blatantly clear with her actions. If you are making excuses for any aspect of her behavior in the beginning stages of your developing relationship, I’m here to tell you that you’re probably just lying to yourself and she’s just not that into you. If she is into you, you’ll know. End of story.

Q: Do you really think you are insane or crazy? You mention it a lot.

A: No. I don’t think that I am really insane or crazy. That’s why I can joke about it.

Do we as women do crazy things when we are head over heels in love with someone? Yep. I can think of at least a dozen things I would never do when I am in my right frame of mind, but I might do them when I’m drunk and my drunk alter ego, Snooks, takes over. For the most part, girls aren’t crazy. Men just make us go temporarily crazy by their actions.

However, I do feel the need to point out that sometimes men’s actions are just reactions to us girls being crazy… so good luck figuring that one out.

Q: Why do you think “Foot Fetish Ally Stagg” is your number one blog post?

A: I don’t think that post has any relevance. As we all know, I wrote that post as a joke. I just think something in the mysterious world of Google algorithms somehow directs people to that particular blog post that I wrote when someone, somewhere in the world Googles “Foot fetish blogs.” lol

However, I didn’t know that Foot Fetishes were such a huge epidemic. If I would have known how popular my feet would be, I would have most certainly started a foot fetish blog as opposed to overwhelming you all with my bad dating decisions and heartbreak because that is not NEARLY as popular as my feet have been.

Q: After reading your most recent post, Modern Romance: Chapter 4 (Part One), it makes me think that you’re still single because you’re a commitment phobe who won’t settle down because you are always going to be looking for the next best thing.

A: *sigh*

Reading over my last post, I can see how you would think that. I mean, I take an hour to choose which head of lettuce I’m going to buy at the grocery store. I also had to make popsicle sticks to choose where Poodle and I were going to eat because neither of us could decide. I also take weeks to decide which series I’m going to binge next on my Apple TV because that is a huge commitment to me… but rest assured, I am very far from being a commitment phobe. I promise you.

I have zero problem with commitment. At this point in my life, before I commit to anyone, it is imperative that I make sure that this could potentially be “the real deal.” That doesn’t mean that I am going to “wife up” instantly. It just means that I’m a 30 something year old single mother with two children and a nosy ass family who will also be invested in our relationship. If I can’t picture a potential future with you, I’m not going to waste your time or mine.

Let me tell you something, I am on this planet to make ME happy.

I can honestly say that no matter what Poodle and I went through over our 4 1/2-ish years of back and forth, no matter what a single person in this entire universe thought about us and our relationship, I DIDN’T CARE. When he and I were together, I was happy and I didn’t care how much that pissed anyone else off. If he would have turned to me at almost any point in those 4 1/2 years and said “Screw it. Let’s be together.” I would have happily obliged. Would it have been a mistake? Maybe. But at that time, it didn’t matter to me because he made me happier than I ever could have imagined. More importantly, I could foresee a future with him for potentially forever. Other people might not have seen it, but I did. I had the upmost faith that he and I could battle through whatever came our way and that was all I needed to know to guarantee our forever happiness. If we were both honestly all in, forever, even after all the trials we had faced, I had no doubt that we could have lasted forever. So, no. I’m not scared of commitment, no matter how hard things might be. No one else can tell you what your happiness looks like. Only you can control that.

However, if you see a forever with someone and they clearly do not see a forever with you, all I can say is… move right along. There is absolutely no point in wasting one more second of your time on someone that you would do anything for if the feelings are not reciprocated.

My point being, no. I am not scared of commitment and if someone is standing in front of me that I feel could potentially be perfect for me, I will never dismiss them or keep them on the back burner simply because I am looking for something better. I am fairly certain at this point in my life what happiness looks like for me. My only hesitations with jumping into a relationship with someone would be because before I bring them into my awesomely crazy world, I want to make sure that I see a potential future with them. That’s all. If I ever have any hesitation with commitment, it’s not because I’m afraid that something better might be out there or that I have 500 other guys I am entertaining on the side. It’s strictly because I want to make sure that we could potentially be a long term, if not forever thing. I don’t introduce just anyone to my kids or my family and neither should you.

However, I do feel that there are people out there who dismiss someone that could be a “good match” for them simply because they will never be satisfied and they will always be looking for “the next best thing.” That was my intent behind my most recent post.


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