Ask Ally (Q and A Week 19)

Happy Sunday everyone!

Once again, you guys asked me questions that I am probably not qualified to answer, but as always, I’m going to go ahead and answer them anyway.

Q: Was your post about Nick and Dallas (That wasn’t me. That was Patricia and Dear Dallas) true?

A: YES!

You guys, every story I write about is true. Of course I throw in my sarcastic comments and a little advice based on my personal experiences, but every story in here has actually happened. You can’t make this kind of stuff up.

Q: Do you ever feel guilty about what you write?

A: Absolutely not.

First and foremost, everything in my blog is anonymous so no one knows who I am writing about. People can make assumptions as to who the people are, but my lips are forever sealed. I will take those secrets to the grave.

Secondly, everything I write is true. I have no reason to feel guilty for writing about the things I’ve experienced first hand. Since I only speak to a couple of the people I have wrote about in here, I doubt that any of the people I wrote about even read my silly little blog. However, if by chance any of the men who have acted atrociously on our date does stumble across my blog and reads a post that I wrote about him, maybe reading about his behavior will make him think twice about how he acts on any dates in the future.

Q: I read your blog post once and then I went back later to read it and I feel like it changed. Do you edit your posts after you post them or am I crazy?

A: Hahaha

No. You are not crazy. I edit my posts constantly. It’s never anything major. I might add a sentence, change a few words around, or fix punctuation or grammar. After writing and editing my posts for hours, they start to look like Japanese to me. After I post it, I’ll typically revisit it a few hours later and possibly the next day to make sure it makes sense. There are only a handful of posts that I haven’t touched since I post them because I refuse to ever revisit them (or the emotions I felt while writing them) again.

Q: Is this your yearly hiatus? The Instagram and Facebook world are waiting…

A: Ha!

I’m glad to know that you guys miss me when I’m gone. 🙂 I’m here… just as sarcastic as ever. I’ve tried to do better at posting the last few days.

Last week I had the absolute most random and ridiculously busy week that I’ve had in years so everything in my life had to take a backseat. However, it did produce some very exciting news that I will be announcing soon. 🙂

See you all soon!

Xoxox,

Ally

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Leading Las Vegas Volume 1

Hello everyone! Happy Saturday. 🙂

First and foremost, happiest of birthdays to my friend Danielle Ford!

I’m very excited to announce that Danielle is publishing a coffee table book titled Leading Las Vegas Volume 1 that is available for pre-order as of today. All of the profits from the pre-order of this book will be going to fund Danielle’s campaign to run for School Board Trustee District F here in Las Vegas, Nevada. The book is $20.00 and it will be in your hands in March.

Leading Las Vegas Volume 1 is about real people who are influencing and making a difference here in Las Vegas, Nevada. I am thrilled to say that yours truly was one of the 24 contributors to this amazing new book. I’m beyond honored and flattered to have been asked to be a part of this awesome book that is supporting such a great cause. Danielle is going to do so many helpful things for our schools and bring incredibly useful knowledge and perspective to Clark County School District.

(Look mom! It’s me!)

You guys can go pre-order your very own copy of Leading Las Vegas Volume 1 today at:

LeadingLasVegas.com/book

This is only the beginning, you guys.

You guys seriously have NO idea what incredible things are in store for the near future! Yeeeeeeeeee!

Now, quit reading my blog and go pre-order the damn book so you can read whatever garbage I wrote in there.

Kidding.

Kinda. 😉

Xoxox,

Ally

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Dear Dallas,

After I published my last blog post, Dallas read it and I had the following conversation with her:

(Dallas is the grey writing and I’m the blue writing. Oh! And there’s also no #4 because I lost track counting when I was going back and numbering them and I accidentally skipped it and I was too lazy to go back and renumber them all. *shrugs* Whoopsie)

(That is the screenshot Nick sent me of the two FaceTime audio calls from Dallas at almost 3:00am)

So her and I were good… right?

WRONG!

These three messages came through from Dallas at 1:00am this morning when I was sleeping:

…and then she blocked me so I wasn’t able to respond to her which is immature and cowardly if you ask me. However, I wouldn’t expect anything less from Dallas. 🙂

Since Dallas follows my blog, I figured I would address her here.

Dear Dallas,

Honey, I didn’t embarrass you. You embarrassed yourself. Just like I didn’t embarrass any of the men that I’ve wrote about in my blog. They embarrassed themselves with their ridiculous behavior.

Dallas, your behavior was (and quite frankly, still is) atrocious and you should be ashamed and completely embarrassed by YOUR words and YOUR actions. Just like I was embarrassed after my tequila fueled phone call and text message rant to one of my exes a few years back. Just like the dozens of emails I’ve received in the past two days from both men and women telling me that they too, have lost their mind on someone. YOUR words and YOUR actions negatively impacted your relationship with Nick. It was nothing I did. Nothing I wrote about you was hateful or cruel. It was the truth. I didn’t make you out to look crazy, sweetie. YOU are the one who made yourself look like you have more issues than Vogue with your passive aggressive and relentless text messages to Nick. You can be upset with me and play the victim all that you want. However, as a woman in her thirties don’t you think that it’s time for you to start taking accountability for your words and actions and stop blaming other people? I sure do and I’m sure most people would agree with me. The fact that you thanked me for my advice one day and then did a complete 180 and lost your shit on me the very next day shows me how deeply troubled you really are. I sincerely hope that you seek out the help that you very clearly need.

Oh, and Dallas, my blog is anonymous. Nick, you, and I are the only three people that know who you are.

Best wishes, have a blessed life, and good riddance.

Xoxox,

Ally

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That wasn’t me. That was Patricia.

*sigh*

I’ve been contemplating writing this post because I never want to embarrass anyone (except myself, of course) and I certainly don’t want this post to be taken the wrong way. However, I call out men all of the time for their bad manners and atrocious behavior, so in all fairness, when a woman makes poor decisions, I feel as though they need to be called out as well.

Recently, in a round about way, I kind of hooked up a friend of mine named Nick with an old acquaintance of mine named Dallas. I haven’t seen Dallas in almost 20 years, but from what I could grasp from her social media, she seemed like a good fit for Nick. She was cute, they had a lot of the same interests and hobbies, they’re both in their 30’s, and they’re both single. After Nick and Dallas had been texting back and forth for a while, Dallas wrote me an email and said Nick was awesome, thanked me for connecting them, and told me that they were planning to meet that weekend. I patted myself on the back for sort of bringing these two people together. My only request to Nick was that if things worked out between the two of them, I wanted to be a grooms(wo)man in their wedding someday.

That week, I had an insanely busy week and could barely find time to breathe so I forgot about Nick and Dallas’ date. Late Sunday evening I finally had a moment to check my email and social media that I had neglected for almost an entire week. I noticed I had an email from Dallas which made me realize that I had never text Nick to ask how their date went. I knew Nick a little better, so I felt as though I should shoot him a courtesy text before I replied to Dallas. I immediately text Nick and asked how his date went. Nick informed me that not only had him and Dallas gone on one date that weekend, they went on two dates.

I threw my phone down onto my bed, jumped up, and I did a few cartwheels across my room because I was so happy that my instincs were right and that Nick and Dallas had fun together. More importantly, this meant that I was potentially going to be in a wedding party and I LOVE being in wedding parties because I get to go to the bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Side note: If any of you are short on bridesmaids or groomsmen, I’m here for you 100%. Just let me know.

After I did a few cartwheels, I hopped onto my bed and picked my phone back up. I had a couple text messages from Nick. I opened them up the text message said “…but I feel like Dallas might be a little bit more invested than I am comfortable with at this point in time” and he included a screenshot of their texting conversation that was happening simultaneously to my cartwheels. My heart sank. Maybe I wasn’t the matchmaker that I so badly wanted to think that I was and maybe I wasn’t going to be a grooms(wo)man in their wedding after all. Her texts did seem a tiny bit needy, but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt in hopes that maybe she was just a little bit more emotional than Nick. Suddenly, I remembered that Dallas had emailed me, but I hadn’t opened it because I wanted to ask Nick how the date went first. I quickly went over to check the email that Dallas had wrote me.

In so many words, Dallas said that Nick was amazing and asked what was wrong with him and why he and I weren’t dating.

Sidenote: Nick and I have gone on a few dates, but it never turned into anything more than that. We get along great and we have so much fun together so we’ve remained friends. Also, I have more baggage than Kim Kardashian has on a trip to Venice so sometimes that’s kind of a road block in my dating life. Nick and I will probably end up getting married someday, but for now, we both need to sow our wild oats.

Kidding.

Kinda. 😉

I immediately wrote Dallas back and told her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Nick and that for one reason or another, things just never worked out between us. I told her that he’s an awesome person and that’s why we’ve remained friends. I went back into my text messages and continued chatting with Nick. I told him that some girls chase men harder than others and both tactics have their downfalls so he shouldn’t write her off for coming off a little needy. He agreed.

Well, that is where things started to go downhill.

In real time, Nick started sending me screenshots from the conversation that he was having with Dallas and asking me for advice as to what he should do. I know that I’m the faux writer here, but I’m not even going to try to paraphrase her text messages. You should all read them word for word.

(PS The blue is Nick, the grey is Dallas, and the red is me editing out naughty words and people’s names. Read on.)

*takes a deep breath*

Okay.

I want to start off by stating that I am in no way, shape, or form shaming Dallas for completely losing her mind.

You know why I’m not shaming her? Because I’ve been in her shoes before. I have completely lost my mind on a man before too. In fact, I’m sure that every woman has lost her mind on a man at least once in her lifetime.

Storytime!

A few years ago, I had just gotten out of a horribly tumultuous relationship where we would yell, scream, fight, breakup, and then get back together the next day. We would do this over. And over. And over until finally one day we both couldn’t take it anymore and we ended our relationship for good. Shortly after my breakup, I started seeing someone new. Needless to say, I had some TERRIBLE habits from my previous relationship that I brought into my new relationship because that was the only behavior I knew. Fighting and breaking up and then making up and getting back together was comfortable for me. At that point, I didn’t even know how to be in a healthy relationship. After this guy and I had been seeing each other for a few months, I reverted back to my old ways and I broke up with him over my own personal issues. However, this time, things didn’t go how they had gone in my previous relationship. When I tried to apologize and get back together with him, he said no. I was so confused. Didn’t he get the memo? We fight, we break up, then we get back together. That’s how it was supposed to go… right?

No. That is not how any relationship should go. Ever. It took me a long time to figure that out.

At the time, I saw a future with this man. I begged and I begged and I begged for him to take me back but he stood his ground. He made it crystal clear that there was no way that he was going to tolerate my immature behavior. Although things didn’t work out between him and I, I am forever grateful for some of the lessons he taught me. As adults, we control our own words and actions. However, we cannot control how someone else reacts or responds to our words and actions and although we choose our own words and actions, we do not get to choose our consequences. There are always consequences for our words and actions and that is why it is imperative that we choose them both very wisely. Breaking my bad relationship habits is something I’m still working on to this day and I will continue to work on it for the rest of my life, but I have come SO far from the disaster that I used to be. Me spending hundreds, maybe even thousands, of hours crying on my therapist’s floor has taught me so much about myself. It’s not easy nor is it fun admitting our flaws and facing them, but it’s something we all have to do. At the end of the day, we’re all human and we all make mistakes so this is something everyone can relate to.

I promise there was a point to me telling that story.

During the time that I was begging for this man back, my friend took me out one night. I was absolutely devastated that I might have ruined this relationship forever before we even had a chance. That night, after I did about 6,000 shots of tequila, I ended up outside of the bar that we were at drunk dialing this poor guy 18 times and psycho texting him. He didn’t respond to any of my texts or my phone calls that evening. I wonder why. *smirk*

Looking back, that was such an ugly look on me. In fact, it’s not a cute look on anyone.

LADIES! LISTEN UP! You cannot get drunk, psycho text, and relentlessly call a guy (especially if you have only known him for six days like Nick and Dallas) and expect him to want to date you. I cannot express to you women enough how important it is that we all stop doing this. Maybe we could get away with the drunk dialing and text messages in our 20’s, but most of us are no longer in our 20’s. (thank goodness lol) You cannot act like a complete psychopath and then have the audacity to write me an email for my weekly “Ask Ally” post and ask me why you’re single. GIRL, YOU’RE NUTS! That’s why you’re single! I’m allowed to call you girls out because I am just as guilty as you are. I’ve been in your shoes before. Please, learn from my mistakes and take my advice. I’m saying this with all of the love and respect in the world. I’m trying to help you ladies out. I promise.

Dallas responded to my email and basically said that Nick was a douchebag, that he led her on, and that all guys are the same. She did not know that I was texting Nick and that Nick was sending me screenshots of their conversation. She was literally losing her mind on Nick and then messaging me like she was the victim. At this point, I couldn’t let her bad behavior go on any longer. I had to call her out. I wrote Dallas back and told her that I had seen a few parts of her and Nick’s conversation that evening and that how she was acting is not okay and that she is the problem here, not Nick. I told her that she was completely out of line and she is ruining anything that could have potentially happened between her and Nick with her behavior. Up until that night, Nick had actually really liked her. He liked her enough to hang out with her two nights in a row and he even offered to accompany her to her Doctor’s appointment before they had even met. Once she knew that I knew that she was flooding Nick with phone calls and text messages that included her saying snobby and passive aggressive comments to him, she backed down and said that she understood where I was coming from. She told me about a couple of terrible things that had happened to her in the past and she proceeded to blame her behavior on those incidents. I understood where she was coming from because I used to do the exact same thing. I also used to blame my bad behavior on anyone or anything except myself. HOWEVER that does not make it healthy or right. Sorry, hun. Not on my watch. I told her that we’ve all had terrible things happen to us in our past but we cannot let that dictate anything in our future relationships, especially how we act towards our potential partner, or we are going to sabotage any potential relationship before it has the chance to start. I told her that she needed to take accountability for her actions and the best thing that she can do for herself is to go to therapy. Dallas agreed. She thanked me for my advice and apologized for being hostile towards me. I gave her the name of a therapist and we said goodnight.

I felt like I got through to her. I felt good. I really thought she knew that all of my advice (although it might have hurt for her to hear) was coming from a good place. She had obviously destroyed her fling with Nick because there’s just no coming back from that behavior… ESPECIALLY after only knowing each other for six days. I was hoping she would understand that her behavior was not okay so that if a similar situation ever surfaced in the future, she would put her phone down and go to bed so she would never make the same mistake again.

I was wrong.

The next morning I woke up to a screenshot from Nick with missed FaceTime Audio calls from Dallas which she made at 3:00 am which was several hours after her and I concluded our chat. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink, I guess.

The entire next day, I was secretly rooting for Dallas to tuck her tail between her legs, own up to what a mess she was the night before, and shoot Nick an apology text. I don’t think it would have changed his mind about her, but at least she would have been taking accountability for the tongue lashing she gave him the night before that he truly didn’t deserve.

Again, I was wrong.

Instead, the next day, I received a tongue lashing from her.

That’s right. You read that correctly. Instead of her just saying “That wasn’t me, that was Patricia” (If you haven’t seen the movie Split, you won’t understand that reference) she tried to manipulate and guilt me into agreeing with her actions the previous evening. She told me it “wasn’t cool” that I told her she was out of line the previous evening without hearing both sides of the story. She told me I was obviously never going to back down from defending Nick and I was always going to “take his side” so her talking to me was pointless.

You guys, I was speechless (and that is a rare occurrence for me)

I’m sorry, but it wasn’t necessary for me to “hear both sides.” I read the conversation (and now you all have too) and her behavior was inexcusable. End of story. If Nick were acting foolish or treating her poorly, I would have called him out in 2.5 seconds, but that wasn’t the case. I can’t believe the next day after she sobered up she was still trying to justify her text messages and then shame me by turning this into a juvenile argument where I should choose sides just like I would have done in kindergarten on the playground. The fact that she did not take accountability for how ridiculous she acted the night before and she thought her behavior was completely normal blew me away. She felt completely justified in her actions and behavior and that is what worried me the most. I guess you can’t save them all. I tried though!

I mean, if you’re going to get drunk and completely lose your mind on someone, you should at least follow up the conversation the next day by sending them this meme:

*shrugs*

Xoxox,

Ally

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Ask Ally (Q and A Week 18)

Once again you guys asked me questions that I am probably not qualified to answer, but as always, I’m going to go ahead and answer them anyway.

Q: What are your book and your second blog about?

A: My book is loosely based on the content of this blog (with a lot more stories, of course) and my second blog that I have been vigorously working on is something completely different. I’ll let you guys know when it goes live. 🙂

Q: When are you planning on concluding this blog and what is your next move when you conclude this blog?

A: I have absolutely no idea. That was the point of my post yesterday.

I could potentially write this blog for ten more years, or maybe I wrap it up in a few months. I don’t know. As much as I love this blog and it has served as a safe place for me to express myself and relate to so many people, it also represents so much of the negativity in my past that I’ve let go of and moved on from. Maybe this blog will take on a new direction as my life progresses, or maybe it will be time to shut it down and move on to something else. To be honest with you, I had never thought about any of this until the past week so I’m still sorting my thoughts and feelings out on what I’m going to do next.

Q: Important question: Did you find your Apple TV remote?

A: YES! You must have been sending out good vibes because three weeks after I lost it, I finally did find my Apple TV remote. #blezzed #soblezzed

Q: Can I get a picture of you in your La Perla lingerie?

A: Absolutely not.

However if you ask nicely, I might send you a picture of me in my penguin onesie. 😉

Q: Will you marry me?

A: Maybe. Can we first start off by going on a date that we could potentially turn into a shotgun wedding?

Q: What are you doing for Valentines Day?

A: Nothing. Why? Are you going to take me out?

Xoxox,

Ally

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Dating and Writing

I had this epiphany a few days ago that I cannot seem to get off of my mind.

For me, writing is exactly like dating.

First of all, both writing and dating typically tend to happen when you least expect them to. As I have stated multiple times over the past year, I had NO idea that anyone would actually read what I had to say when I wrote my first (or even second or third) blog post. I wrote my first blog post on a whim to vent about a bad date that I experienced a week after yet another heartbreak from one of my ex boyfriends. I thought that writing about what I was feeling might bring me some sort of relief… and it did. Venting about the events that occurred in my life that week and putting a humorous (yet truthful) spin on them did bring me a lot of peace and some much needed closure. However, I was not expecting the overwhelming response and warmth I received from writing that blog post… Much like I didn’t expect 99.9% of the relationships I have had in the past to blossom into the long term relationships that they did. They all started out as random, casual, possibly rebound relationships, and then somehow they flourished into something I never expected.

Secondly, once the relationship (or blog) attain a tiny bit of interest and begin to bloom, everything about them is so fun and whimsical. It sparks curiosity and maybe a little bit of infatuation. You become excited waiting for the next text message to be composed (or the perfect blog post to come to mind.) You can’t wait to see the new person who gives you butterflies (or sit down and write the next blog post that you’ve been thinking about for a week.) Everything about the person you’re dating (or the blog post you’re writing) is wonderful and interesting, Maybe you even spend a few moments of your spare time investigating your new love interest (or researching information for the post you can’t wait to write) because you are so fascinated and intrigued by them. You have all these dreams and aspirations as to where the relationship (or next blog post) may take you.

Then the longer you date (or write) it all gets muddled and complicated. The person you’re seeing starts trying to change you (or people attempt to influence the way you write or what you write about) and they demand more and more from the relationship (or your writing) until eventually you become so annoyed with the person (or your writing) that all you want to do is break up.

Just like relationships come and go, so does writing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to capitalize on this blog for as long as possible because I still have a story or two to tell all of you, but the similarities between writing and dating are uncanny. All good things come to an end and eventually, so will this blog. Not quiet yet, but I can’t help but wonder when that time will come or what will be the reason for concluding this blog and closing this chapter in my life. Also, once I conclude this blog and close this chapter, what’s next for me and all of my readers as well?

Xoxox,

Ally

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Ask Ally (Q and A Week 17)

Hello everyone! I’ve missed all of you!

Once again, you guys asked me questions that I am probably not qualified to answer, but as always, I’m going to go ahead and answer them anyway. 🙂

Q: Where have you been? Did you “relapse?”

A: Nah, homies, nah.

I’m so sorry. I’ve just been busy with the holidays. I’ve been trying to excel at everything in life such as motherhood and work (and I’ve still been failing miserably, by the way) but I’ve been trying!

Give me a week to catch up on my life and I promise the posts will start flowing again.

*makes a pinky promise with each and every one of you individually that I will blog regularly*

(Also, if you are a new reader to my blog, Welcome! I am not a drug addict nor am I an alcoholic… not that I judge anyone who is or is recovering…  But please see my post “Addicted” to find out what my personal addiction is and what I would have “relapsed” on)

Q: What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

A: The best advice I’ve ever received in my entire life came when I received an Apple TV for my birthday seven months ago. When I first received it, my sister-in-law told me to download the Apple TV remote app to my phone just in case I ever misplaced my Apple TV remote. I didn’t think that much of this particular piece of advice at the time because I’m not a huge fan of 1) listening or taking direction from anyone and 2) being responsible in general. However, against my better judgement I downloaded the app anyway because I know that my sister-in-law is a little bit crazy like I am and I figured that if she were giving me this advice, it might come in handy later since she and I have a similar personalities (on some stuff.)

I just want to go on the record and state that if my double major, master degree parents/older brother/older sister ever want to give me advice on anything in my life, I completely ignore it.

COMPLETELY. 

Yeah. You heard me. My family is EDUCATED AF (minus me) yet I still insist on ignoring every piece of advice they ever give me.

I’m seriously not even joking.

HOWEVER, my sister-in-law (who only has a high school diploma) can sing every single lyric to the Blackout album by Britney Spears, which is all I need to know to trust in taking advice from her. So obviously every single thing she says to me is BIBLE. 

Fast forward to seven months after my birthday when I received my Apple TV…

The advice from my sister-in-law came in handy two weeks ago when I “misplaced” (aka I’m sure one of my kids hid/lost) my tiny little Apple TV remote.

I still to this day cannot find my damn Apple TV remote.

In the mean time, I have been living through the Apple TV remote app on my iPhone for over two weeks. What on earth would I have done if I didn’t listen to my sister-in-law and downloaded the Apple TV remote app???? I would be so lost.

This Apple TV remote app information is so much more useful than my dad nagging me about having good credit (He manages a credit reporting company) or my older brother telling me to pay my taxes. (He’s a CPA)

I’m kidding you guys. And this time there’s no “kinda” attached. I understand and respect the importance of both your credit score and paying taxes. Your credit score is more valuable than a diamond because the value can’t be bought and also, pay your taxes or the government will find you. Come on, now. *end of my PSA*

I am beyond grateful for the advice bestowed upon me by my sister-in-law seven months ago that I reluctantly followed. Without it, I would be completely lost. I need Apple TV remote app which allows me to binge watch my trashy reality TV shows on Hulu and Netflix.

God works in mysterious ways and he does answer prayers. He really does. That’s all I’m saying. #RIPallysappletvremote

Q: What is the best Christmas gift you received?

A: The best Christmas gift that I received was the game “What do you meme?” PLUS I also received the bonus “Basic Bitch” meme pack. BOOM! FINALLY someone paid attention to my #thingsiwantforchristmas hashtag.

I’m still waiting on the “Pie in the Face” game that I’ve been hash tagging for three years. Maybe someone will get it for me for my birthday this year…. *hint hint*

I could buy it myself at Walmart for $19.99, but I’m really trying to keep the gift ideas open for my family because they always complain that I’m hard to shop for.

Q: What did you do for New Years Eve?

A: I had a lot of fun.

I was also acknowledged by a few beautiful young girls in their 20’s because they recognized me from my blog which was literally the highlight of my entire year. It’s kind of ironic that the highlight of my entire year happened on NYE… just a few minutes before the clock struck midnight.

I told them “No autographs, please!” JUST KIDDING! They didn’t ask for autographs, but I would be honored to autograph any one of any of your body parts. Well, ALMOST any one of your body parts. *looks side to side*

These adorable girls were so excited to run into me, but to be honest, I was a BILLION times more excited to meet them and have people recognize me with nothing more than my photographs and writing from my blog. A few beautiful 20-something year old girls were able to recognize this 30-something year old hag in public even though my hair is darker and shorter now than it is in any of my photographs on my blog. Which brings me to my next point…

Hey Sid… I DO look the same in person as I do online.

Suck it, Sid.

(If you don’t understand this reference, please go read my first blog entry ever, “Sid”)

Xoxox,

Ally

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Happy Anniversary!

I’m sorry for my lack of posts lately. It’s been a busy couple of weeks. Although this week is busy as well, I will try to edit a few posts for you guys, however I could not let today pass without writing a blog post.

Exactly a year ago today, I wrote a blog post and posted it not thinking that more than five people would read it. Little did I know that not only would thousands of people read that post, but that one little post would change my life forever.

PS I’m crying already. Most of my posts are written in jest, but this one is going to be a little more serious.

I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to each of you for taking the time to read my insane stories and follow my adventures in life and love over the past 365 days. I had no idea the impact that I would have on others and I had no idea the impact that you would all have on me… even complete strangers. It completely blows my mind. I have made so many friends through this blog. Hell… I’ve even gone on dates with men I have met through this blog. It actually makes me wonder why I ever paid for Match.com when I could have just started a blog for free. *shrugs*

Thank you for every positive email you have sent to me or comment that any of you have made on my social media accounts. I really do try to write back or address them all in my Q and A posts, but I know I have missed some. If I didn’t respond or answer a question, I want you all to know that it is never intentional and that I do read every single email, DM, Facebook email, Facebook message via messenger, Twitter message, Tweets, comments on my blog, and messages sent through my website. They all seriously mean the world to me. Hey… I’m even grateful for the people that send me hate mail or who post mean comments on my blog or social media. It’s super fun to block the trolls who obviously need a hobby because they have nothing better to do with their time than bully someone who’s blog they CHOOSE to read on their own time. Writing this blog has been therapeutic to me and it was what inspired me to go back to school and finally add a little more value to my life by getting my college degree… even if I am well over a decade late in doing so.

Thank you for all of your support through my challenging times this year and thank you for celebrating my victories with me. It really means a lot to me.

Most importantly, I want to thank you all for caring about me this year at times that I wasn’t even sure how to care about myself and thank you for loving and appreciating me for everything that I unapologetically am.

I don’t want to write anything cliche like “goodbye 2017, hello 2018” because I truly believe that each year has it’s own struggles and it’s own milestones. I had some incredible things happen in 2017 and I made a lot of great memories. I also had a couple things happen that I honestly thought were going to kill me. However, here I am, still breathing, living, writing, and excited for what this year holds. I have a few big surprises for all of you so stay tuned. **hint hint: a book and a second blog** Yeeeeeeeeee!

Okay. That’s enough mushy stuff. I’m grossed out. *wink*

In other news, one of my friends tagged me in this article today and I haven’t stopped laughing about it all day:

https://955thebull.iheart.com/content/2017-09-26-guy-tells-woman-she-can-get-anything-with-his-credit-card-she-wins-twitter/?cmp=managed_social

Please read and just know that I would do the exact same thing. Except with a foam machine.

Thank you all again. I love you all so much and you’re all the real MVPs.

Xoxox,

Ally

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Retraction Letter

From: Ms. Allyson Stagg

To: My older brother

Dear Older Brother,

I would like to publicly apologize for the inconvenience I have caused by assuming that you do not read my blog. I have given it considerable thought and following our conversation on Christmas Eve, I would like to continue writing at SwipedOut.wordpress.com and I would like you to continue reading my blog at your leisure. I retract the statement I wrote about you not reading my blog that I made in my blog post on December 21, 2017.

I am aware that this post may embarrass you and I, however I felt like I owed you a public apology for assuming that you do not read my blog. I appreciate your kindness, consideration, and the time that you have spent (and potentially wasted) reading my blog.

Yours Sincerely,

Ms. Allyson Stagg

To my readers:

I made the insensitive statement that my older brother does not read my blog based on the fact that he never comments on it about a week ago in a post that I wrote. On Christmas Eve, my brother addressed this topic and let me know that he does indeed, (sometimes) read my blog. I just want to apologize publicly for assuming that my older brother does not read my blog just because he chooses not to comment on my disaster life. I love my older brother so much and I am thankful he married the coolest girl in the world and gave me an awesome nephew. I have the upmost respect for him so I just wanted to give a public apology for assuming things that I did not know.

Per usual, I was wrong and impulsive. What’s new? *shrugs*

Xoxox,

Ally

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Foot Fetish Ally Stagg (Part 2)

Happy Foot Fetish Friday to all of my feet fans! I took these bad boys for you guys when I was in NYC because KTNV Channel 13 sent these adorable mistletoe socks to our room. Plus I just had a pedicure by the infamous LA the day before.

Merry Christmas ya’ filthy animals.

Xoxox,

Ally

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