Hi guys! Once again you guys asked me questions that I am probably not qualified to answer, buuuuut I went ahead and answered them anyway.
Q: Why do you take all of the blame for your past relationships ending?
A: Awww man. Is that really what you have taken away from reading my blog?
I do not take all of the blame for my past relationships failing. I, as well as my partners, have all made mistakes in the past that lead to the demise of our relationships.
Okay. Hold on.
I want to clear something up. This blog isn’t coming from a scorned ex girlfriend who is publicly bashing her ex boyfriends and pointing out all of their flaws. This blog is about my journey, my mistakes, and my victories from my point of view. I can only write about lessons I have learned and things I have done correctly and the things I have done incorrectly in my past relationships. I have absolutely no business saying what things my exes have done correctly or incorrectly. I am not the relationship God. I have no place to publicly criticize any of them for things they have done in the past nor would I ever dream of doing that. It wouldn’t do anyone any good.
At the end of the day, I don’t like to focus on the negative aspects of my past relationships. It’s much more fun to remember the good things that happened and the good memories that we made. I only reflect back on the negative aspects of my past relationships to pull emotion out when I am writing certain blog posts. Other than that, I stay far away from those dark memories. It is more important for me to focus on the lessons that I have learned through the things I did correctly as well as the mistakes that I made so that I am able to grow from them and share what I have learned with you guys.
Q: Which Mexican restaurant in Las Vegas has the best queso?
A: From my experience (and I have a lot of it) Nacho Daddy and Casa Don Juan… but if you guys have any suggestions, I’m always up to try some queso!
Q: If you could take a DNA compatibility test with anyone in the world, who would it be?
A: Good question.
I actually think it would be really cool to take a DNA compatibility test with my two female best friends. Doctors can test the information gathered from the psychological exam and the DNA sample and analyze it to foresee not only romantic relationships, but the longevity of friendships. I think it would be very interesting to see what our DNA says about all three of us since our personalities are all very different, yet we get along so well.
If I could choose a stranger, I would choose Adam Levine because I would love to know what our HLA system results are and if our real love life would be as hot and steamy as it is in my dreams.
Q: If you were to get married again, what would your dream wedding be?
A: A bad ass combination of whatever my fiancé and I decided OUR dream wedding would be 🙂
Q: What do you feel was your over all #1 mistake in your failed past relationships?
A: Wow. Another great question.
I think my biggest mistake in all of my past relationships was not being self aware. I did not know myself, my wants, and my needs well enough to properly communicate them to my partner.
I want to give you an example of what I mean by that. I have wrote a couple of times about Poodle and I fighting for weeks over the color of paint on a wall and this argument is a perfect example of me not being self aware enough to know how to express myself.
Poodles house had a large loft and a mini loft. After I moved in with Poodle, he gave me the mini loft as a space to turn in my blonde bobble head makeup dream heaven. This was a room I had dreamt about for almost a decade. I had always wanted my very own room to to get ready in where I could store and organize my makeup and beauty items. After Poodle gave me the mini loft as “my space” he was truly the MVP in our relationship. He drove me 45 minutes across town on a Saturday and spent a couple hours with me choosing the perfect furniture to fit in my mini loft makeup room. After we chose the furniture, we had a professional artist custom paint my furniture teal and ivory for my new space. Since it was going to take about 4-6 weeks to get my furniture back from being painted, I had some time to decide what color I wanted to paint the wall in the mini loft. After much thought, I had decided that I wanted a matte ivory wall with iridescent ivory polkadots on the wall in my dream space. Poodle had been such a good sport thus far, so when he came home from work one evening I was excited to tell him that I had finally decided on what I wanted the wall to look like. I informed him that I wanted to paint a polkadot wall and much to my surprise, he wasn’t nearly as excited as I was. He immediately shot down my idea and told me that since the mini loft was visible to anyone who walks up the stairs, it needed to be one solid color. I listed off several solid colors that I would like the wall to be and Poodle vetoed every single one of them. I remember being devastated. I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. He gave me the space to do anything I wanted with… so why wouldn’t he let me paint it how I wanted it painted? After a few weeks, I think Poodle realized that he was being a little stubborn and hard on me about my choice in wall color. He sat me down and apologized for being stubborn. I apologized for being stubborn (and a big baby) as well. That day Poodle was a good sport. He drove me to Lowes and he let me choose (almost) whatever paint color for the wall that I wanted. I choose coral paint. When we got home Poodle helped me tape the baseboards and paint the wall in the mini loft so that it would be ready when my vanity, mirror, and trunk were delivered.
That silly little 5×5 foot space in Poodle’s home holds will always have meaning to me. My furniture has been gone for years and that coral wall was painted over only a few days after I moved out. That space was where I got ready for my day every single morning and where I got ready for bed every single night. It was also the place that Poodle would sneak upstairs to leave me a note before he left for work every single morning while I cleaned up breakfast. It was a really, really, REALLY cute little space.
However, no matter how cute as my mini loft makeup room was and how much meaning it held, I want to talk about what I learned from the infamous “wall color fight.”
The underlining argument between Poodle and I was NEVER about the pattern or the color of the wall. I had my vanity and my space. I didn’t care what color the wall was. However, at that point in time, I wasn’t self aware enough to understand why the wall color was such an issue to me. I had moved into Poodles home that he owned with all of the things that he had purchased. It wasn’t my home. Nothing in it was mine. (Not like I had much to my name anyway) When Poodle gifted me that little 5×5 foot mini loft in his home it was a HUGE deal to me in our relationship. Him so graciously offering me that space meant that I wasn’t just paying my boyfriend rent to live with him anymore. It meant that he saw me being there long term and he wanted me to have a space of my own in his home because he knew that was something important to me and it was something that I wanted for so long, even long before I met him. Looking back, when Poodle continued to shut down my painting ideas, I felt as if he might have been regretting his decision to give me that space. He let me have teal and ivory furniture, so why did a paint color matter? Maybe he wanted a lighter paint so it was easier to conceal if I moved out? Maybe he didn’t want polkadots in case I moved out and he couldn’t paint it right away and he didn’t want to have to explain why he had a polkadot wall? Who knows what Poodles reasoning was behind it. The point is, I didn’t know enough about myself and I wasn’t mature enough to express to Poodle my thoughts as to why his hesitations about the color of the wall were bothering me. If I had been more self aware of my feelings and emotions, I would have sat him down and had an adult conversation with him about my concerns and questions instead of sulking and being a passive aggressive little baby for several weeks.
This is just one example of a time that I look back and get frustrated with my lack of communication. I have to remind myself that at that time, I didn’t know any better. I wasn’t self aware enough to express how I was feeling to Poodle.
Investing time in learning about myself has been one of the best things I have done in my entire life. Learning my strengths and weaknesses and being self aware is not only one of the best gifts that I could ever give myself, but it will benefit all of my future relationships as well.
Since then, Poodle and I have laughed numerous times about the infamous wall fight. We both admitted we were both wrong in different ways and that it was one of the most pointless fights we ever had. Poodle would be happy to know that because of that argument, I will never, ever, EVER have a polkadot wall in my home for as long as I live.
I might, however, have a full on glitter wall. Luckily, Poodle will never have to fight with me over that one. lololol
That’s all I have for today! I hope you all had a great weekend. See you soon!
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